Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
