The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
