Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
