OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
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Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
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I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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