Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
