? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
