I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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