in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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