I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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