wat bout pragnant strippers??
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
