The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
