New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
