This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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