dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
