The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.