Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

Oh.My.God.

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(817): View more from Texas

If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(802): View more from Vermont

does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children

(1-802): View more from Vermont

actually, i try not to think about it

(802): View more from Vermont

and i pooped them out

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(845): View more from New York

Because ur a stupid bitch

(1-845): View more from New York

Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him

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(240): View more from Maryland

I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob

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(219): View more from Indiana

So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.

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