I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
3 2 1 whiskey
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again