Texts From Last Night

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  (361): View more from Texas

  Screwed.edu

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  (361): Screwed.edu http://tfl.nu/m1ch
  Replies (7) Good night (771) Bad night (1205)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.

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  (312): kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it. http://tfl.nu/8mle
  Replies (71) Good night (676) Bad night (4758)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  A Penis?

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  (610): Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me. (1-610): A Penis? http://tfl.nu/aerv
  Replies (50) Good night (3558) Bad night (605)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.

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  (416): I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch. http://tfl.nu/l1wa
  Replies (9) Good night (3652) Bad night (592)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.

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  (240): He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter. http://tfl.nu/87g5
  Replies (53) Good night (2018) Bad night (13891)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car

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  (617): we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car http://tfl.nu/ipv6
  Replies (3) Good night (2001) Bad night (638)
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  (805): View more from California

  I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.

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  (805): I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up. http://tfl.nu/2z9h
  Replies (10) Good night (1906) Bad night (666)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.

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  (540): my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened. http://tfl.nu/bhgb
  Replies (47) Good night (2005) Bad night (643)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  "Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Nope, his last birthday was.

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  (910): "Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right? (770): Nope, his last birthday was. http://tfl.nu/dk94
  Replies (5) Good night (2052) Bad night (579)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.

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  (602): I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now. http://tfl.nu/tbsd
  Replies (24) Good night (2274) Bad night (732)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.

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  (845): Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored. http://tfl.nu/hxpc
  Replies (2) Good night (1367) Bad night (478)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.

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  (404): He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie. http://tfl.nu/bwlf
  Replies (3) Good night (408) Bad night (845)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.

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  (305): When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand. http://tfl.nu/rlmw
  Replies (4) Good night (519) Bad night (248)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to

  (425): View more from Washington

  She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem

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  (425): He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to (425): She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem http://tfl.nu/6c1h
  Replies (0) Good night (609) Bad night (242)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.

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  (202): She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home. http://tfl.nu/t0al
  Replies (1) Good night (470) Bad night (699)

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