I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
