yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
