I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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