Will you blow on my dice?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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