Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there