i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
