Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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