Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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