This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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