what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
