take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
