quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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