sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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