At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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