Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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