did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
