I just made out with a guy for $7.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I would ride that face into the sunset
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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