I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
