no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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