weddingsv make me drug and hornr
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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