Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
