I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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