Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
