If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
