when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
