and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize