sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
