I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
