Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
