K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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