how can u be prego again
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
