I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
