Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
