Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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