I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
