why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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