I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize