Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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