doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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