Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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