Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
