I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
