I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
