Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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