Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
