my phone needs a breathalizer
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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