You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
