Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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