Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
